


blow, blow, thou winter wind

by bluesxrgent



Series: tumblr prompts [12]
Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, First Meetings, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magical Realism, but also theres magic so, somewhat canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:33:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesxrgent/pseuds/bluesxrgent
Summary: for the anon on tumblr who asked for a jack frost sander au ❄️
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Series: tumblr prompts [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1394650
Comments: 18
Kudos: 203
Collections: Skam Belgium (Wtfock) ▶ Sander Driesen / Robbe Ijzermans





	blow, blow, thou winter wind

**Author's Note:**

> might fuck around and write a part 2 so tell me if u want that 👀 
> 
> hope u enjoy

_ Blow, blow, thou winter wind, _

_ Thou art not so unkind _

_ As man’s ingratitude; _

_ Thy tooth is not so keen, _

_ Because thou art not seen, _

_ Although thy breath be rude. _

_ Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly: _

_ Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly: _

_ Then, heigh-ho, the holly! _

_ This life is most jolly. _

_ Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky, _

_ That dost not bite so nigh _

_ As benefits forgot: _

_ Though thou the waters warp, _

_ Thy sting is not so sharp _

_ As friend remembered not. _

_ Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly... _

_ \- william shakespeare _

Sander had always known he was a little different from everyone else. It hadn’t bothered him much when he was small, because everyone was a little different when you were that young, young enough that words came out in gibberish filled jumbles and walks looked more like waddles. Everyone wanted to be friends with everyone, and the things that made you unique were cherished by kids and parents alike. 

It happened sooner than Sander would have hoped, that people began to realize his type different was dangerous. It started small, a brush of wind across cheeks, a chill that wouldn’t leave the air even in the summertime, but as Sander grew, so did his otherness. 

These sorts of afflictions weren’t unheard of, but they were fairly rare, rare enough to the point that his parents decided it was best to hide, to blend in and not let that affliction creep out into the real world. 

So, Sander wore gloves, even in the summer, and he stayed away from the kids his age. He was told he might hurt them if he got too close, so he found solace as his own island, the lonely boy on the playground that everyone had given up trying to befriend. The first time he messed up was when he was eight years old. Everyone was playing on the monkey bars on the playground, and Sander figured it wouldn’t hurt if he just waited his turn without talking or touching anyone. He really wanted to play on the monkey bars.

His first mistake had been taking off his gloves, but they were too hard to grip the bars with, and he would never make it across if he wore them. So he put them in his pockets and let his bare hands touch the monkey bars, smiling for what felt like the first time in a long time, and he raced across them. The other kids cheered him on, and he thought  _ maybe I don’t always have to be alone _ . 

But then Anna went after him, and the frost left behind from his fingertips was too slippery to hold onto. When she slipped and fell onto the concrete, head hitting the ground with a sharp noise, Sander thought he had killed her. Everyone did. 

Thankfully, Anna was fine, just a little scraped up, but Sander and his parents were gone before she even came back to school. That was the first time, and, now eighteen years old, Sander had just moved for the sixth time. 

It was no use keeping his magic a secret, people always found out no matter where he went or how hard he tried to hide it. His parents would never allow him to call it magic out loud either, they called it his curse, his illness, his affliction, like it was something ugly that had to be treated and kept away from others. 

Everyone else called him Jack, short for Jack Frost, and they did it so much that he’d begun to respond more to the name Jack than the name Sander. His parents didn’t like that either, but what could he do? They were the only people in any of the places that he’d lived that referred to him as Sander anymore. Deep inside, Sander wished he could be Sander, but he’d found that life was easier when you went with the census instead of trying to push back against it. 

So, Sander  _ was  _ Jack Frost, and he was reckless, and he never took anything or anyone seriously, because to do so would mean to be Sander again, and Sander no longer existed in the capacity he once had. If life was a movie, he was merely playing a role assigned to him, and if that role required him to act, to put on a show, who was he to refuse? 

When he dyed his hair white, he decided that Sander was gone. They wanted Jack Frost, he may as well give it to them. It didn’t matter that, once he’d learned how to control his curse, he hadn’t used it once. Rumors were rumors and they never quite moved far enough to get away from them. Switching between schools in the same area of the country only helped alienate him, not give him a fresh start. 

Everyone in his hometown knew about the boy with ice in his veins at this point, so there was really no use in pretending they didn’t. His parents weren’t pleased with any of this, particularly the white hair.  _ All we’ve ever done is try to make you feel normal Sander, _ they’d said,  _ And this is how you repay us? _ The sad thing was that they really thought that they were doing that, making him feel ‘normal’. He’d long since abandoned normal, since the day he discovered David Bowie and his life on mars. 

David Bowie hadn’t had a curse like Sander, but he’d surely had some magic of his own. 

Still, he hadn’t dared to allow his affliction to tempt him in a long time. He was at an art college now, away from his parents and his hometown and everyone who’d called him Jack Frost, and now people liked liked the creative, impulsive boy he’d become and they didn’t seem to be afraid. For all they knew, they had no reason to be afraid. Cautiously, be became Sander Driesen again, and he loved art, loved Bowie, and had platinum blond hair for reasons that had more to do with his art student persona than the fact that he’d lived two lives in one. He no longer had a curse, just a past life he had no intention of returning to. 

But then he saw a boy, a beautiful boy with brown hair, brown eyes, and a luminous smile, and something inside him stirred. The post summer sun baked the word in a blanket of heat, and the boy had his eyes closed, looking up at the sky, and Sander sent a draft of cool wind in his direction. He saw the moment the wind ruffled the boy’s hair and the boy sighed in relief, easy smile crossing his face. Sander was so overcome with a rush of affection that he sent another gust of wind, letting it settle and linger around the boy, keeping him encapsulated in his own bubble of cool for as long as he could. 

Eventually, Sander had to leave, and with his absence came back the presence of the sun. He saw the boy’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as he wiped new sweat from his forehead, but Sander was gone before he could contemplate staying for this boy, this anonymous boy who had unknowingly gotten him to go back on a promise he made to himself after his most recent incident.

It was fine, Sander rationalized, it wasn’t like it would ever happen again, like he would ever see this boy again. No one needed to know, and he never needed to think about it again. What was done was done, and no harm had been wrought on anyone, so there was nothing to worry about. Sander wasn’t Jack Frost, not anymore.

❄️❄️❄️

It happened again. 

Beautiful boy’s name was Robbe, and Sander somehow ended up on a weeklong beach trip with him. At first he’d been worried about going on a trip with his very newly broken up with ex girlfriend and her friends, but they remained friendly and he’d already paid for his portion of the trip, so he’d decided to go into it with low but hopeful expectations. His parents had been thrilled to hear he was still going, less thrilled to hear that he and Britt had broken up, probably because she didn’t know about his curse and he’d had no intention of ever telling her about it.

He assumed his parents thought he’d never find anyone to love him, different as he was, and he’d only just proved them right. Even though he didn’t live with them at the moment, they still had their hand in his life, invading his thoughts and making him question himself every waking moment. Because of them, he worried a lot about being loved as well, but he’d spent enough time with Britt to know that it wasn’t going to work with her the way they’d both hoped. 

But now, looking at the boy he’d shared a part of himself with, a part better left hidden, he felt that same tug, the tug of loving and being loved in return. He couldn’t be sure if Robbe felt it or not, but he hoped, and he yearned, and he panicked, because if he did, Sander wanted Robbe to know every part of him, not just the surface.

He decided to start slow, with Bowie, and to his surprise Robbe had responded with excitement and intrigue. It made Sander bolder, more willing to take risks on the off chance Robbe wanted him too. 

The second time Sander slipped up and used his curse around Robbe was when Jens and Moyo had dared him to run into the freezing ocean in nothing but his underwear. It was much too cold for that, and all the girls tried to say so, but Jens and Moyo were unrelenting. Sander offered to do the dare for him, when no one else could hear, because Sander wasn’t bothered by the cold like everyone else. He could have sat outside in the dead of winter in nothing but a thin shirt and been perfectly fine. Obviously, no one knew that, but he could pretend. He’d had plenty of practice in pretending. 

Robbe insisted on completing the dare, even though Sander could tell how uncomfortable he was, so he did the only thing he could think of: he froze the water by Jens and Moyo’s feet, just enough for them to freak out before Robbe even had a chance to get near the water. 

Robbe met his eyes as Jens and Moyo screamed in shock, the girls squealing with laughter, almost as if he knew. But he couldn’t, right? His heart stilled as Robbe looked at him, but then the corner of Robbe’s mouth twisted into a smile, and Sander returned it with ease, cherishing the moments that made the rest of the world disappear. 

When the week was over and he and Robbe shared a clean up task, Sander felt Robbe’s eyes on him the entire time and he wanted to know what it meant. They sorted empty bottles in silence until Robbe, voice soft as the wind, glanced up at him through his thick eyelashes. “You remind me of someone, you know,” he said, and Sander was intrigued.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” Sander asked, allowing Robbe to see the light in his eyes.  _ You make me feel this way _ , he wanted to yell. 

Robbe was quiet for a moment. Then—

“Danny Phantom.”

And, well, that was new. Sander’s face split into a grin so wide he was a bit worried he looked like the cheshire cat as he laughed at Robbe’s statement. “Danny Phantom?”

“Have you never gotten that before?” Robbe asked like he genuinely couldn’t believe it. 

“No,” Sander laughed, “Usually it’s—”

He cut himself off before he could go further, hoping Robbe would let it drop. What he was going to say was Jack Frost, but that’s not who he was anymore, few indulgences aside. 

Robbe narrowed his eyes. “Usually it’s who?”

“No one,” Sander said a bit too quickly, but thankfully Robbe let it drop this time. “I can work with Danny Phantom,” he continued, “I had a bit of a crush on him as a kid.”

He analyzed Robbe’s reaction. They’d been skirting around saying things and not saying things, but now Sander had said something and the ball was in Robbe’s court. 

Robbe bit the inside of his cheek, eyes trained on the ground but moving back and forth rapidly, like he was at conflict with himself inside his head. Sander hoped he hadn’t said too much.

But then Robbe looked at him, looked at him like he couldn’t help but look at him, even if he didn’t want to be looking at him as he said, “I think I still do.”

When Robbe then leaned in closer, Sander followed suit, still reeling from what he’d just heard. Robbe liked him Robbe liked him  _ Robbe liked him Robbelikedhim _ . It was a mantra his head didn’t stop repeating until they were close, so close that Sander could feel Robbe’s breath on his face, could see that Robbe’s eyes were hooded in anticipation. The same anticipation that thrummed in his own veins. There was only one problem. 

Sander wasn’t wearing gloves, hadn’t worn  _ those _ gloves since he’d moved away from his parents, since he’d decided to be his own person again. He also wasn’t entirely in tune with his affliction and how his emotions might impact the frost coating his insides, all the way down to his heart. When Robbe said what he said, Sander wasn’t wearing gloves, and suddenly empty bottles were coated in a light layer of ice, burning Robbe’s fingertips as he looked down in alarm, then around in confusion, the air not yet cool enough to cause frost in such a manner. 

And maybe Sander was Danny Phantom after all, because he was sure he looked pale as a ghost in that moment. Robbe looked up at him, then at the ice, but before he could say anything, Luca interrupted, saying something about how they needed to hurry because there was more to clean up. Just like that, the moment way gone, both the good and the bad, and Sander was left wondering if he needed to prepare to go back to hiding himself from himself.

❄️❄️❄️

Robbe hadn’t mentioned what happened, and Sander hadn’t brought it up, which meant their near kiss also sat unaddressed above their heads. Still, that didn’t stop him from pining, from looking for different ways every day to get Robbe’s attention or show him that he really cared for him. They’d known each other for such a short amount of time, but it felt like forever to Sander. Or maybe he just wanted it to be forever.

He’d been experimenting a bit, between bouts of longing, and even though it scared him deeply, he felt a rush of adrenaline every time he felt frost on his fingertips, glittering like crystals and radiating warmth through his body instead of cold, like they should have. He filled his bathtub up with water, then froze it with a touch, simply because he could. It gave him energy, made him feel a bit more alive. For so long he’d been sleepwalking through his life, but he’d never stopped to consider that maybe it was because his magic— his affliction— was something that could wake him up. 

He didn’t really know how to unfreeze things, so the block of ice sat in his bathtub as he moved back into his bedroom, finalizing the playlist he’d been compiling for Robbe since they returned from their trip to the seaside.

Sander hovered over the send button for so long he thought he might have frozen himself, if that was possible. But fuck it, he decided, and bit the bullet, pressing send on his Bowie for beginners playlist. How long did he have to wait to facetime Robbe for live reactions to it?

After about 30 seconds, he decided that was more than enough time. 

Robbe answered right away and Sander smiled to himself as he heard Space Oddity playing in the background. Robbe’s blush as Sander jokingly called him out was more beautiful than anything Sander had ever seen. 

So, they talked, and they talked, and they made plans to hang out, because who cared if it was a Wednesday? Sander really just wanted to see Robbe, and he had a sinking suspicion Robbe was feeling the same. 

The bar, later, they decided, but Sander’s mind was already spinning with possibilities. A bar was fine, fun, but it wasn’t anything special. And Robbe deserved special, he deserved the whole world if only he’d allow Sander to give it to him. 

The whole world started softly, like winter winds whispering in your ear. A melody unspoken, an unimaginable desire, delicate and destructive feelings exploding in alarming symphony that no one else hears. 

In other words, it was quiet. Despite the deafening roar of people in conversation surrounding him, the whole world went quiet when Robbe walked through the door, eyes searching for Sander full of hope and clarity. 

When their eyes met, Sander heard a soft  _ “What the fuck?” _ behind the counter, and he turned to realize a few bottles of vodka were frozen solid. He stood up as Robbe approached, trying to not look guilty, though he didn’t really think the bartender would think to blame him for some frozen alcohol. 

“Hey,” he said, hoping Robbe saw just how happy he was to see him.

“Hi.” Robbe was more hesitant, hands folded inside his sleeves. 

“I have an idea,” Sander said without preamble, yearning to warm Robbe’s hands in his own, but thinking better of the idea before his body caught up with his brain. He didn’t even know if he could warm someone up, or if he was simply too cold. Britt had never said anything, but then how did you say to someone that they felt like they were dead, a pale reflection of the normal vivacity of life? 

Robbe raised an eyebrow as Sander started walking to the door. “Come,” he said over his shoulder. 

“If you didn’t want to go to the bar we could have gone somewhere else…” Robbe said as he jogged to catch up to Sander. 

Sander grinned at Robbe, noticing his small frown of confusion. “It was a good place to meet, but I’ve got bigger plans than a bar.”

“Oh?” Robbe asked, smile returning. “I wouldn’t have minded a beer, though.”

“What do you think our first stop is?” Sander asked pointing to the convenience store across the street. Robbe raised his eyebrows, but followed, laughing to himself. 

Warmth, warmth, warmth. Robbe radiated it. Everything he did filled Sander with the light of a thousand suns and he couldn’t get enough of it. 

When he emerged from the store with a few shitty gin and tonics, Robbe’s eyeroll lit his heart aflame, and when Robbe winked at him, making a joke about a conversation they’d shared when they’d met, it stoked the flames. 

In Sander’s humble opinion, there was no display of youthful intimacy as grand or melancholic as riding your bike with the person you could see yourself caring most about in the world. It felt like a movie, the part where the violins swell and the audience thinks,  _ oh, those two are soulmates _ . He hoped Robbe felt the same. 

Through the streets and through a tunnel, Heroes played in Sander’s head the whole time. He yelled it as they raced through the tunnel, the chill of the wind having nothing to do with his affliction and everything to do with being alive. Sander had an idea, then, an idea that could end very poorly, or very spectacularly. 

Robbe’s face was apprehensive as Sander unlocked the door, and Sander became worried, because he didn’t want Robbe to be worried. 

“Come,” he said again, and Robbe followed, apprehension never fading though bravery started to take its place. 

The pool was beautiful, a serene light aqua blue, and even though it was November, it welcomed them both. The cold was never afraid of him, but Sander had to admit that sometimes he was afraid of the cold. It had been his enemy so long, but at that moment he wasn’t afraid, so much so that he stripped down to nothing without thinking much of it. 

He was Sander, the cool, spontaneous, reckless, artistic weirdo. He was Jack Frost, the cold, closed off, terrifying, powerful enigma. 

The minute he hit the water, so cold it may as well have been ice, he felt like he was home. It didn’t scare him like it should have. Instead, he yelled for Robbe to join him, laughed and basked in the coolness of the water, the brightness of the lights under and surrounding the pool. 

Then, Robbe was in the water, and Robbe was yelling, and Sander was terrified. 

Then, Robbe was laughing, was teasing, (was shivering), but was bright, brighter than any star in the sky. Sometimes Sander didn’t know if cold was his warm, or warm was his cold, but he knew then that Robbe was light. 

Who could stay underwater longer, they wondered, smirks on their faces. There was only one way to find out, wasn’t there? (Sander was positive that it was him, but he’d let Robbe have a go at it anyway.)

Once they were underwater, Sander had another one of those moments that stopped the world on its axis entirely. It gave him clarity and purpose. It was now or never, wasn’t it? Was this the moment his life began for real? He hoped, and hoped, and worked up the nerve. 

It was now or never. 

Immediately, he realized it was a mistake. Their lips barely brushed, and Robbe was pushing him away, stunned. How had he read the situation so wrong? The water started to get colder and Sander worked to calm his racing heart to make sure the water didn’t get any colder than that. 

But then, above the surface. 

“That was cheating!” A smile. Hesitation, but intrigue. Not a dismissal, not a refusal. 

Sander could breathe again. “I won!” he shot back, and then they were going for a rematch, and Sander promised himself he wouldn’t try anything again, just in case.

This time, he admired Robbe under the water, looking him in the eyes and letting him know I'm here if you want me too. Was it just him or was Robbe getting closer? He barely had a moment to react to the feeling of Robbe’s hands coming up to cup his face, and he responded instinctively. Their lips met, for real this time, and the symphony in Sander’s head reached its crescendo. 

Underwater kisses were awkward and clumsy and entirely irrational but they were also perfect. Their lips only parted for a brief moment before being pulled back in like magnets, and then their heads broke the surface but they didn’t break apart. They kissed with urgency, like this moment might be stolen if they weren’t careful. The desire that had coursed through Sander’s veins was matched by Robbe and expanded upon. They couldn’t let each other go, and they didn’t want to. 

Sander loved dogs, he really did, but when he heard the dog bark, he cursed the world for not letting him have this one thing for more than a fleeting moment. So, they ran, but at least they ran together, and if Sander froze some of the water sitting in puddles on the ground above the pool to make it harder for them to be caught, no one needed to know.

❄️❄️❄️ 

Nothing had prepared Sander for the aftermath of their kiss and the rollercoaster of emotions that would accompany it. Robbe was scared, Sander could see that, but he hadn’t realized how deep that fear ran. He said things Sander knew, in his heart of hearts, that Robbe didn’t mean, but it didn’t make them hurt less.

He’d been called names his entire life, so often that he’d let these false identities consume him, but he’d realized recently that Sander was the only person he wanted to be, and he would no longer put up with being called other names, whether it be Jack Frost or something much, much worse. 

Robbe was light, Robbe was the only voice he wanted to hear first thing in the morning, but Robbe might have lost him, something that hurt Sander’s heart to even think about. It was a good thing he was so accustomed to being alone. He’d had and lost light many times in his life before, and even though it hurt every time, he got through it.

He spent the next few days wishing to see Robbe just one more time, and hating himself for wishing to see Robbe just one more time. No one should be able to disrespect someone like that and get away with it, but Sander had been walked over his entire life and it was hard to change that, even if he really wanted to. 

Then Robbe showed up at his school, and he had to make a choice. Forgive, forget, fight, flight,  _ freeze _ … In the end, he was falling hopelessly in love, and if there was a chance for them, he wanted to take it.

Because fuck Chernobyl. And fuck Jack Frost. And fuck everything that had held Sander back from accepting love into his life because he’d convinced himself he didn’t deserve it. He did deserve it. Robbe had messed up, but Robbe deserved it too, and Sander realized that forgiving someone was much easier when you realized how much brighter your world was with them in it. 

He was still nervous to go to Robbe’s flat the next day, scared he’d be pushed away, but Robbe embraced him immediately, wide smile on his face, kissing him senseless once they were inside his room with the door closed.

Sander never thought he’d experience this sort of tender intimacy, the deep conversations that didn’t need explanation, the thoughts that weren’t invalidated as they were spoken, even if the two of them didn’t have the exact same ideas about everything. When Robbe talked about parallel universes, Sander wondered if there was one where he was normal, where he and Robbe were laying there in the exact same position, but he wasn’t Jack Frost, or Danny Phantom, or anything else. He wondered if that life would be preferable to this one. 

After a while, Robbe sighed, tucked into Sander’s side like a koala clinging to a tree branch. “Hm?” Sander asked sleepily, running his hands through Robbe’s hair.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Robbe sighed dramatically, clinging closer to Sander. Sander grinned minutely, tightening his grip as well. 

“That’s too bad,” he joked. Robbe smiled at him, pressing a small kiss to his arm. It was strangely intimate, even more so than a kiss on the cheek or the head. 

“Ok, seriously though,” Robbe said, trying to detangle himself. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Sander whined, clinging to him still as Robbe tried to stand up, falling face forward onto the soft mattress as Robbe successfully extracted himself. He sat up with a huff, reaching out just as Robbe reached the door, not even thinking until his mistake became evident. The door wasn’t locked shut, it was frozen shut. Robbe flinched back in surprise, analyzing it. “What the hell…”

He looked at Sander, ghost of a smile on his face dropping as he noticed Sander’s guilty expression. “Hold on,” he said, and Sander prepared himself for the worst. 

“You did that.” It wasn’t a question, but Sander nodded reluctantly, shame filling his every pore. He was such a fool. Of course he’d ruined this thing, this beautiful thing, before it had a chance to be something truly great. 

To his surprise, instead of kicking him out, Robbe, rejoined him on the bed, bathroom forgotten. “You’re like Emma…” he trailed off absently.

That wasn’t what Sander had been expecting. “What?”

Robbe’s eyes widened as he blushed, coughing awkwardly. “Um. Emma. From this one tv show.”

“What tv show?” Sander was still confused. 

Robbe whispered something, and Sander raised his eyebrows, forgetting for a moment that he’d just shown Robbe the one part of himself that was better left unseen. “H2O,” Robbe said again, a bit louder. 

“The one about the Australian mermaids? From like 2006?” Sander clarified, beginning to grin.

“No!” Robbe shot back instantly, expression turning from defensive to sheepish as he watched Sander watch him. “Yes.”

“And I’m Emma?” Sander clarified. Truthfully, he had no idea what Robbe was talking about. He’d heard of the show, but didn’t know anything about it other than mermaids. 

“Emma can freeze things,” Robbe said defensively, and Sander was helpless. He just had to kiss Robbe, he had to. 

To his surprise, Robbe accepted the kiss, threading his hands through Sander’s hair. When they broke apart, Sander’s heart picked up its pace as he addressed the elephant in the room. “You aren’t scared?”

Robbe frowned. “Why would I be scared?”

“I have an affliction,” Sander said, “I can’t get rid of it no matter how hard I try.”

Robbe placed his hands in Sanders, and Sander could only imagine how cold his own hands were, though Robbe’s were nice and warm. “You say that like it’s some sort of disease,” Robbe said confusedly.

“Isn’t it?” Sander asked genuinely. That was what he’d been told his entire life, why should he believe any different?

Robbe pressed their foreheads together, meeting Sander’s eyes with a shy smile. “Sander, this is anything but a disease. You aren’t sick, you’re pure magic.”

It was so easy to believe it when Robbe said it with so much sincerity, but Sander had seen enough bad things happen because of this ‘magic’ to be so optimistic. “You don’t know what I’ve done,” Sander said pulling away and leaning back against Robbe’s headboard. 

“Then tell me,” Robbe said, “I promise I won’t get scared.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Sander said, shaking his head. Robbe would want nothing to do with him if he explained all the problems he’d caused. 

“I don’t intend to,” Robbe answered stubbornly. Sander felt so much tenderness, so much affection for him in that moment. He knew it wouldn’t last, no matter what Robbe said, but he told the truth anyway. He told Robbe everything, his entire devastating history. 

Robbe listened with rapt attention, lacing his fingers through Sander’s, tightening his grip every now and then as Sander spoke. There was nothing in his face that said he was as terrified as Sander expected him to be, but Sander knew better than to hope for the best of people. He’d long since proven he didn’t deserve it. 

He could barely bear to look Robbe in the eye as he finished, so he did so with his eyes closed, head down. His whole life he’d been walking with his head down, and he cursed himself for being stupid enough to believe that Robbe could be the one to raise his head to see the light. 

“Sander.” Robbe’s voice was soft and his fingers were feather light on Sander’s chin, but he refused to open his eyes. Sander shook his head stubbornly, feeling his tears freeze as they fell down his cheeks. 

“Sander,” Robbe repeated, more urgently. 

Sander opened his eyes, knowing he must have looked like the most pitiful human alive. But Robbe, he was smiling. He shouldn’t have been smiling. He should have been afraid, disgusted. The hand that had been holding the bottom of Sander’s chin moved to his cheek, Robbe’s other hand coming to rest on the other side of his face in perfect symmetry. 

What Robbe said next, Sander would never forget as long as he lived. 

“You make me feel like sunshine.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn (and feel free to send me more prompts)


End file.
